Moon Baby
by emication
Summary: Songfic about Heero and Duo.


**Title:** _Moon Baby_

**Author:** Emily…ship comments to roguegirl@att.net but flames will be used for roasting S'mores for the GW boys…ya know…to roast the marshmallows over.

**Warnings:** Language and shounen ai (because if they aren't boinking each other they'd have to be boinking members of the female cast and the majority of the female cast is suffering from a constant cocaine high).

**Comments:** My first songfic. Sad, neh? Writing fanfics for a year and it's my first songfic. Ah, oh well. It's also my first yaoi open to public critic, so please be nice. Song _Moon Baby_ is sung and performed by the band Godsmack. Anyone can take this as long as I get credit. It would be nice if you told me where it's going but I like being surprised. ^_^

_[Italics]_ denotes lyrics and _italics_ denotes, um, flashback and emphasis, I guess. Confused? Eh…you'll know when you see it.

*~**~*   *~**~*            *~**~*

_[Let's take a blast to the moon baby._

_I sit around wishing you well._

_How I'm craving you, yeah!]_

I'm sitting where you left me in the hospital room.

"Don't over do it," I mumble, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Of _course_ he's gonna over do it." You over-do everything, don't you, Heero? You don't know any other way.

You didn't even walk into my life in a subtle way. You tried to destroy my Gundam and yours. Then I save you from the hospital – yes that was all me – and you try to fly off a cliff. It wasn't enough that you scared the shit out of me and then had the nerve to gross me out, though. You had to steal parts from my buddy, as well.

You know what the thing about first impressions is? You only get one, and you don't need me to tell you that we had one hell of an introduction.

Or did that not count? I mean, you knew my name. Hell, you even _remembered_ my name, but I didn't get yours until the New Edwards scenario. Thereafter I had something to call you, Heero Yuy. Sounds better than the Indestructible Spandex Kid, doesn't it?

You know, when you entered my prison cell in all your glory, I wasn't surprised at all. You are all about the mission and nothing should get in the way.

And yet I'm still alive. Even more, I got medical help and my ribs are on their way to recovery. Peachy keen, isn't it? The Perfect Soldier couldn't kill me.

Maybe Shinigami is more useful alive than he is dead, neh?

Ha! I'd love to think that. Maybe it's just some twisted little fantasy my mind came up with. A fantasy that in some plane of existence _you_ might need _me_. Cocky little brat, aren't I? Oh, Heero, if only you knew how strong that first impression really was.

_[Every time I'm near you_

_I always wanna swallow you down._

_I'll be right here if you need me.]_

I don't know what it is with you… You're arrogant and not one for conversation, and you rattle my nerves by going against every little pet peeve I have.

Yet every time I see those deep blue eyes looking at me intensely in a way that only you can manage, I feel a chill go down my back.

You don't grow up the way I did without knowing a few things. Like that chill and the emotions that make up its origin. Lust. Shit… That wasn't supposed to happen, now, was it? I was supposed to take Deathscythe, go to Earth, and eliminate OZ. I wasn't supposed to desire after some fellow pilot because I want to see the look on his face when I'm making him feel so good that it hurts; because I want a moment when he abandons that control he tries so hard to maintain.

But if wishes were fishes… Eh, how'd that rhyme go again? It doesn't matter. I may not be the brightest bulb but I know when something is beyond me.

But still… Heero, ask me to jump and I'll ask how high, and not many people can get that from me. I don't give away trust by the truckload. I just dish out a thousand times my weight in words.

_[In my life, I'll need you here._

_Don't ask why I'll never disappear.]_

You can never get rid of me. You need to understand that now. The God of Death doesn't fall victim to his own devices, no siree, and quite frankly, I think we were forced to be a team from early on. I don't know if you noticed, but we fight well together. Of course you seem to have a problem with the idea of someone keeping an eye on your ass, literally and figuratively, but you're adaptable.

You'll be the roach in OZ's kitchen that just refuses to die and keeps on eluding the exterminator time and again. That's why you need me to show you a few things about subtlety. You go around flashing your guns all the time and you're going to get yourself killed.

Am I babbling? Hmm…where was I? Ite…damn this place needs stronger painkillers. Yeah, those OZ soldiers really should've been more gentle with me back there. Would've saved my ribs the agony. 'Course the blow to their pride was nice after what they did to Deathscythe. I'll have one hell of a time breaking him out of there, not to mention reconstructing his right arm and replacing the scythe.

Don't worry, buddy, I'm coming for you soon enough.

_[Why is it everyday that I feel the pain?]_

If it's just lust, why am I worrying? If one pretty face is destroyed, you go find another. No…this isn't lust. Aww, fucking Jesus Christ… Damn it! This is the last thing I needed…

Someone please tell me when I fell in love with Heero Yuy.

*~**~*

_[Let's take a trip to the stars far away._

_Where were you when I was down?_

_Staring into the dead, dead.]_

Just get into the base, destroy or steal the Gundams, and get the hell out of there after killing Doctor J and the others. It isn't a foolproof plan, but I like to make things up as I go along. Whoever said I couldn't be spontaneous?

Killing the scientists will be easier and safer in the long run. Stop the Gundams from being made at the source. Even if OZ could finish them they'd never find a qualified pilot.

Priority Number One: Eliminate all obstacles. The scientists are obstacles, just like Relena and the braided baka.

Duo…

_[My pain is caused by my pleasure. _

_My soul mate lives in your body._

_I can't get you outta my head.]_

Fighting has become the only thing for me to know and love. I've known it all my life and my training proved that there is no room for distractions, but training isn't the same as the actual thing, no matter how similar they become. Training doesn't involve dealing with other pilots or teach you how to put up with Relena getting in the way during every other battle.

Training only taught control and efficiently, and I'm efficiently losing control.

When mission preparations are complete, I find myself thinking about _him_. I don't know why; I just do. His energy just bores into your very being and you don't feel its effects until he's not around, when things are quieter than you're used to.

_[It never goes away.]_

Duo understands. He knows what fighting is like because he's been in the middle of it. Not like Relena who can pretend to understand but really has no idea because she's on the sidelines. She could not even comprehend the emotions or lack thereof that has to go into a battle. The rush of adrenaline derived from an impending sense of doom because the next second, your next move, could very well be your last.

The pain, the guilt, the stress…she could never understand, but Duo does because he's there. He's there and he knows what war does to people.

_[In my life, I'll need you here._

_Don't ask why I'll never disappear.]_

Duo I will see you again. I was supposed to kill you, but the only reason you are an obstacle is because of the control you could hold over me if you knew the turmoil going on in my heart.

I told Trowa something that had been once told to me. It's okay to live life by your emotions. But this one is new to me. It has a name, I know, but I can't bring myself to say that I, Heero Yuy, have some sort of personal feeling stronger than friendship for Duo Maxwell.

It took me long enough to think of him as a friend.

_[In your eyes you can bid me farewell_

_Don't ever try to understand my situation.]_

Hai, Relena, I don't think that way of you. You could never understand the true me. How I feel or why I choose not to. What pushes me to one decision over the next. Iie, you could never know, and that is why I don't think of you as anything. 

A nuisance, actually, but that isn't very high on my list.

_[Why is it everyday that I feel the pain?]_

Maybe someday when the war is over and the purpose in life is to get past the pain and become normal, I'll meet up with him again. He'll say something stupid and I'll call him a baka, demo sometimes he really does deserve it.

_[It always comes when I least expect it._

_When I'm looking for love,_

_always seem to be regretting it.]_

I didn't go under Doctor J's tutelage with the idea of meeting people and making friends on my top priority. I wanted to become stronger, better… I wasn't looking for comfort or hope or comrades or love or a good time.

Well, maybe the thought of wiping out an organization did have some appeal of a good time.

Nice to know I put killing on the same level as a normal person my age would place going to the movies or whatever.

Normal is overrated, anyway. Relena could be considered normal, and I prefer my life over hers any day. I was taught to live on my own, not to be pampered and take the lazy way through life.

_[Why is it everyday that I feel the pain?]_

Of course she'll think she loves me. She doesn't have larger concerns than my well being, for some reason. Relena sees love as not being killed when I clearly intended to at first. I see love as knowing that everything will be alright as long as you care for each other.

Duo you better be healing and staying out of trouble because you're still needed in this. You're still needed to fight this war against OZ, and you'll be needed to fight the war inside of me. The war that pits my soul against my years of training. The war of me loving you but at the same time being unable to express those thoughts.

Ai shiteru.

*~**~*   *~**~*            *~**~*

Owari


End file.
